MEET YOUR PHOTOGRAPHER

8 years old. Give or take.

That’s about the time a camera first landed in my hands.

It was a Kodak Instamatic. A small black and sliver plastic box. I had toys more complicated.

Here is what I knew about photography at the age of 8:

1. You push a button.

2. Do it again and again until you fill up a roll.

3. Take it to get developed.

4. You see what you got.

Also when I was 8, I had tons of action figures. Just like a lot of kids. Unlike a lot of kids, I didn’t so much play with them as direct them.

I built sets. I staged scenes. If I didn’t get a scene right in my head, I’d do it again. I switched viewing angles for better composition. It frustrated me that I couldn’t get low enough to the ground for dramatic angles when my Hot Wheels cars “drove” by...

I wasn’t consciously aware of these things. I was only 8. But this was how I always played with my toys.

One day, an epiphany.

I grabbed that Instamatic camera and I photographed my action figures. Over an entire afternoon, I meticulously created sets and photographed scenes.

I was telling a story. With photos.

I’m no longer 8. My camera is a bit better than that old Instamatic. I know how to adjust the aperture and shutter speed and ISO to get the exposure I want. I know composition rules. I know what lenses and lighting to use to get the image I see in my head.

And I sometimes still think it’s fun to push the button just to see what I get.

I still tell stories.

My camera is often with me. You might call it my security blanket. I would deny it. But I know it’s true. If I show up without my camera, friends are only slightly less surprised than if I were to show up without a leg.

SOME OTHER THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT ME:

My brain is like a fly strip for movie and pop culture trivia. Don’t be alarmed if I speak in movie quotes. Play along if you can. Humor me otherwise.

I enjoy fine whiskeys and fine cigars. Tipping your photographer in cigars is never a bad thing.

I believe that on some instinctual level, all humans know it’s only a matter of time until the zombies show up. If you want to hire me to shoot a zombie-themed wedding, you will be my best friend for life.

I still photograph toys…

-- Robert